it was vain.
i looked for a sign, then i found it. i did what has to be done, now that it's working for its own, ba't naman ako yung lumalayo?? can you guys tell me how these things will work out just fine?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Ms. Sing Yu
When we are getting pretty stupid making ourselves sad remembering those happy memories, is it necessary for us to let go of those? Even though those are also the happy moments that you’ve had?
Six.Nine.Ten
Mark that date.. hate.
Nakakatawa namang isipin na may ganito pala kay Eloise. Sus! Drama!
Ms. Yu, I’ve met her 4 months ago, sa dunkin donuts. 11 am. She’s kinda’ nice, pero gusto kong lumayo sa kanya, mixed emotions kasi lagi ang meron sya. Ang hirap intindihin, ang hirap kasama.
Eyebugs + wrinkles = Ms. Yu
Way way back, haha! Nakakabingi, paulit-ulit. Nakakainis! Para syang traffic lights, kahit saang sulok, andun. Parang anino, sunod ng sunod. Parang yung aso sa kapitbahay, ang ingay. Parang si tigger, yung pusa rito sa bahay, papansin.
Paggising ko tuwing umaga, wala nang “smile! Umagang-umaga!”
Pagpasok sa school, wala nang “uy! Ingat ha”
Kakain sa gabi, wala nang “diet? Yuck! Di bagay!”
Matutulog, wala na ring “pray girl”
Wala na ring flooded messages sa phone ko
Three missed calls pag-uwi ko
Libreng load kapag weekends
Matagal na rin bago malowbat ang CP ko
Zero mail receive sa YM.. blanko na rin yung chat box ko.
Wala nang nakakabulag na flashes ng camera
Panakot-dagang stolen shots ko.
Di na nawawala ang sapatos ko pag-aalis ako.
Wala na ring libreng softdrinks kapag tambay lang.
Libag na ulit yung gitara ko
Wala nang “jamming tayo” sa front door at balcony…
Boring na. pati yung “anong kanta?” nanahimik na..
Korning jokes? Laos na. hindi na rin lumelevel up yung lakas ng tawa ko.
Iisa nalang yung upuan sa labas ng bahay.
Nabubulok nalang yung mga mangga, santol at bayabas.
Singaw na yung bola ko ng basketball. Yung ring, may kalawang na, yung court, maputik.
Wala nang mabigat na brasong biglang babagsak sa balikat ko.
Malaking kamay na gugulo sa buhok ko.
Daliring pinipisil ang ilong ko.
Wala nang “apir nga dyan!”
Wala na ring “maligo ka na!”
Wala na ring "kaya mo yan!”
Wala nang “wrinkles daw!”
“ikaw pa!” kapag may naaachieve ako.
Wala na yung “fan ko”.
Yung sincere na mukha pag nagagalit ako o kaya may problema.
“okey lang yun” kapag nadisappoint ako
Smile na nakakadala lalo na pag wala ka sa mood.
Si Ms. Yu kasi dumating pa, yan tuloy, di ko namalayan na yung “uy ingat ka ha” eh pinakahuli na pala….
Thursday, September 16, 2010
happy birthday naman!
birthday-an.
masaya!
bakit ba kahit magbanggit ka lang ng simpleng happy birthday eh kailangan pang may maalala ka?
bakit ba kailangan mo pang malungkot pagnaaalala mo yun?
nageemo-emohan kahit hindi naman bagay
nakasimangot kahit na HAPPY birthday ang pinuntahan.
ako. sadista ako. sa sarili ko. pero yun na yun eh! kamabal ko na nga, kumbaga, live with it!
marami ang nagsabi, bakit lalaki? or bakit sya?
i wouldn't answer. para nyo na rin kasing tinanong kung bakit eloise ang pangalan ko. wala akong maibigay na reason, or should i say, it doesn't need any reason
I MISS HIM. kasi 15 years alam kong andyan lang sya. text away, call away, kapitbahay lang.
andyan pag may special occasion, nagtatap ng balikat mo pag may problema ka, kasama mong tumatawa. bestfriend ba.
we don't want to go deeper than that. atlis we say we don't want to. but we can never say we'll never! mahirap magsalita ng tapos.
ngayon, yung brother ng birthday boy, kumakanta. eto nanaman yung subconscious kong umeeksena... sabi: "kelan naman kaya ako ulit nya makakantahan ng ganyan?" kabanas diba?
ang hirap kasi sunud-sunod yung mga problema mo tapos ngayon pa sya alam mo yun? nawala.
sus! kung hindi ko lang bestfriend yun naku! baka isipin ko nang inlove na ako dun! aaaaay! sumasakit nanaman ang ulo ko!
IKAW! nang dahil sayo namimis ko sya! sana kasi eh nag ingat ka sa words and deeds mo para ok na.
btw. HAPPY SEVENTH BIRTHDAY CYRIZ JOSHUA!
masaya!
bakit ba kahit magbanggit ka lang ng simpleng happy birthday eh kailangan pang may maalala ka?
bakit ba kailangan mo pang malungkot pagnaaalala mo yun?
nageemo-emohan kahit hindi naman bagay
nakasimangot kahit na HAPPY birthday ang pinuntahan.
ako. sadista ako. sa sarili ko. pero yun na yun eh! kamabal ko na nga, kumbaga, live with it!
marami ang nagsabi, bakit lalaki? or bakit sya?
i wouldn't answer. para nyo na rin kasing tinanong kung bakit eloise ang pangalan ko. wala akong maibigay na reason, or should i say, it doesn't need any reason
I MISS HIM. kasi 15 years alam kong andyan lang sya. text away, call away, kapitbahay lang.
andyan pag may special occasion, nagtatap ng balikat mo pag may problema ka, kasama mong tumatawa. bestfriend ba.
we don't want to go deeper than that. atlis we say we don't want to. but we can never say we'll never! mahirap magsalita ng tapos.
ngayon, yung brother ng birthday boy, kumakanta. eto nanaman yung subconscious kong umeeksena... sabi: "kelan naman kaya ako ulit nya makakantahan ng ganyan?" kabanas diba?
ang hirap kasi sunud-sunod yung mga problema mo tapos ngayon pa sya alam mo yun? nawala.
sus! kung hindi ko lang bestfriend yun naku! baka isipin ko nang inlove na ako dun! aaaaay! sumasakit nanaman ang ulo ko!
IKAW! nang dahil sayo namimis ko sya! sana kasi eh nag ingat ka sa words and deeds mo para ok na.
btw. HAPPY SEVENTH BIRTHDAY CYRIZ JOSHUA!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Way back to my grade school Alma Mater
it's been four years since i last stayed that long on the same ground where i played, studied, gained friends. laughed, shouted, sang and danced.
nakakamiss.. ilang ulit ko yang nasabi...
looking everywhere was like going back to who i am three years ago. seeing my friends wear the same uniforms i once wore, hugging and welcoming me as if i've just gone on a long vacation. same peers, same cheers! i miss them all!
they kept me company and never let me feel alone all the time. they always look behind their backs checking if i'm still there. that touched me. they grew taller and faces changed a bit. but they're still those whom i've befriended with way way back then.
paint colors were changed, buildings were restructured, but the essence of being what it is as my school before remained the same.
i once laughed realizing how narrow the stairs are which appeared to be wider before. it's then i realized. I GREW UP!
i can say that i'm still welcome there, even if i cannot enter during normal class days, even if i still need to sneak just to have my way inside. i feel fine. they make me feel that way =)
i once laughed as loud as those kids, i once played like them too. i've once been part of that world. completely. legally. without sneaking. without pressure. and here deep inside my heart i know that i'll always be. even if that was a past when i was once called an HTCian.
masaya talaga! marami pa akong bagong friends na nakilala (if i could call them as one) sina Regine, L.a., Glaiza, Dayana yara, Kim, Clint, Karl at iba pa na hindi ko na maalala (yung name). i really love to meet you guys! and thankful too.
it has been a totally memorable, remarkable, unforgettable and sensible trip. an extraordinary day. and eventful one. laughters and cheers all through out! an experience i've been longing for such a looong time!
once again. i miss you guys!
happy sweet 16 aye!!
nakakamiss.. ilang ulit ko yang nasabi...
looking everywhere was like going back to who i am three years ago. seeing my friends wear the same uniforms i once wore, hugging and welcoming me as if i've just gone on a long vacation. same peers, same cheers! i miss them all!
they kept me company and never let me feel alone all the time. they always look behind their backs checking if i'm still there. that touched me. they grew taller and faces changed a bit. but they're still those whom i've befriended with way way back then.
paint colors were changed, buildings were restructured, but the essence of being what it is as my school before remained the same.
i once laughed realizing how narrow the stairs are which appeared to be wider before. it's then i realized. I GREW UP!
i can say that i'm still welcome there, even if i cannot enter during normal class days, even if i still need to sneak just to have my way inside. i feel fine. they make me feel that way =)
i once laughed as loud as those kids, i once played like them too. i've once been part of that world. completely. legally. without sneaking. without pressure. and here deep inside my heart i know that i'll always be. even if that was a past when i was once called an HTCian.
masaya talaga! marami pa akong bagong friends na nakilala (if i could call them as one) sina Regine, L.a., Glaiza, Dayana yara, Kim, Clint, Karl at iba pa na hindi ko na maalala (yung name). i really love to meet you guys! and thankful too.
it has been a totally memorable, remarkable, unforgettable and sensible trip. an extraordinary day. and eventful one. laughters and cheers all through out! an experience i've been longing for such a looong time!
once again. i miss you guys!
happy sweet 16 aye!!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
and then it was like..
daniel. san ka ba?
kuya naman! i need you now.. feel so alone.. hay. toronto, canada.. sana naging roxas, palawan ka nalang..
kuya naman! i need you now.. feel so alone.. hay. toronto, canada.. sana naging roxas, palawan ka nalang..
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
LAHAT NALANG! namumuro ka na...
yung una trust. sunod relationship. ngayon ito? uy! mas mahalaga pa ito sayo! (for me) I value this thing as I value the person who gave this..
hindi ba may tanong ka? nung una ang sagot ko eh oo.. tapos naging siguro.. things get worse, naging baka.. and now, you really did that?!? heck! it's already a NO! (pag sinabi kasing wag eh wag. asar!)
We could've had it again, but now it's too late.
I suppose what I have done is for what is right. sabi na eh! di nga yan ako dapat manghinayang (pero nanghinayang ako at first honestly). I actually can see that you don't need my help. oks na yan sya, sobra pa nga sya for you. mas kailangan ako nung andun sa malayo. SYA. kilala mo yun? yung orig naman talaga.
what has been broken can never be what it's like when it's still not.. =(
hindi ba may tanong ka? nung una ang sagot ko eh oo.. tapos naging siguro.. things get worse, naging baka.. and now, you really did that?!? heck! it's already a NO! (pag sinabi kasing wag eh wag. asar!)
We could've had it again, but now it's too late.
I suppose what I have done is for what is right. sabi na eh! di nga yan ako dapat manghinayang (pero nanghinayang ako at first honestly). I actually can see that you don't need my help. oks na yan sya, sobra pa nga sya for you. mas kailangan ako nung andun sa malayo. SYA. kilala mo yun? yung orig naman talaga.
what has been broken can never be what it's like when it's still not.. =(
Sunday, September 5, 2010
it WAS us
I am a li'l exhausted for quite some time now.
weird feelings never felt before..
and gulo kasi sa earth. why do we have to bid goodbyes anyway?
pwede naman tayong maglook forward pa siguro sa future diba? yung tulad ng dati.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
A Period or A Comma??
it took so much courage for him to say that...
it took him more than four years to honestly agree with himself, with what his mind and heart says.
it took him more than a year practicing saying those words not only from his mouth but also from his heart.
it took him more than a hundred times thinking about what the possible outcome of what he's going to do.
it took him more than a million times doubting if he's going to do it or not.
it took him long minutes of silence. minutes of crooked lines until he finally had his voice and said "I Love You"
and then...
it took me a day to absorb what he said.
it took me more than a billion of "what" before I knew he's not kidding.
it took me almost a year thinking of what should happen next.
I needed several "hey!" before everything's back into shape.
it took me a minute to recover the smile. i knew that was okay. there's nothing wrong with that!
i never knew until it took me another seven hours to realized that he's waiting for an answer,
then that took me seven days to reply...
it took sleepless night until I catched my answer.
I took several steps to be beside him
I wasn't able to count how many breaths I took before words came out of my mouth.
i asked him to take 1200 days to wait. he smiled. that felt good.
after that encounter...
it took him four years full of hope and uncertainties.
it took me three years to realized that I've been in a totally in denial stage of life, of LOVE.
it took me four years to finally accept what this heart of mine says.
it took me an hour to know that 1200 days are over.
it took me a day to decide and be ready for a life after a "YES"
it took me a minute to arrange the day, another sleepless night came my way...
but to my surprise I didn't knew, that it'll ONLY take 11 hours for me to realize that I lost something I MAY never ever have again. the CHANCE. the TIME. HIM. MY BESTFRIEND.
it took him more than four years to honestly agree with himself, with what his mind and heart says.
it took him more than a year practicing saying those words not only from his mouth but also from his heart.
it took him more than a hundred times thinking about what the possible outcome of what he's going to do.
it took him more than a million times doubting if he's going to do it or not.
it took him long minutes of silence. minutes of crooked lines until he finally had his voice and said "I Love You"
and then...
it took me a day to absorb what he said.
it took me more than a billion of "what" before I knew he's not kidding.
it took me almost a year thinking of what should happen next.
I needed several "hey!" before everything's back into shape.
it took me a minute to recover the smile. i knew that was okay. there's nothing wrong with that!
i never knew until it took me another seven hours to realized that he's waiting for an answer,
then that took me seven days to reply...
it took sleepless night until I catched my answer.
I took several steps to be beside him
I wasn't able to count how many breaths I took before words came out of my mouth.
i asked him to take 1200 days to wait. he smiled. that felt good.
after that encounter...
it took him four years full of hope and uncertainties.
it took me three years to realized that I've been in a totally in denial stage of life, of LOVE.
it took me four years to finally accept what this heart of mine says.
it took me an hour to know that 1200 days are over.
it took me a day to decide and be ready for a life after a "YES"
it took me a minute to arrange the day, another sleepless night came my way...
but to my surprise I didn't knew, that it'll ONLY take 11 hours for me to realize that I lost something I MAY never ever have again. the CHANCE. the TIME. HIM. MY BESTFRIEND.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
oh wait!
I don't know.
I totally do not know. I wish.. I hope.. I pray..
malaman ko man lang kung anong pwedeng iblog ko..
HELP ME!
I totally do not know. I wish.. I hope.. I pray..
malaman ko man lang kung anong pwedeng iblog ko..
HELP ME!
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